I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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