Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
