Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
