With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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