I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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