there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
