it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
