is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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