We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
