yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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