is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
