Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
it was like eating out sand paper
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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