"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
