He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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