office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
