he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
