Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
