Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
