Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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