this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
