Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
