bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
