Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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