"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
