"it" just moved
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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