my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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