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I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
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