I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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