My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
