Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
