i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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