i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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