Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
