My Higher Power is John Stamos
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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