Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
