My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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