you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
