We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
