Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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