If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
