So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
