you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
