how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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