Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
