Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she smelled like a LAN party
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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