proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
