$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
