im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
