You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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