I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Randomize
