Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
