Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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